Allure of Black

Julie J.

The first time I saw the witch’s Halloween costume my neighbour Barb was wearing it. The dress and black pointy hat were black. The apron was orange. The next time I saw the costume, mother was taking it apart. She liked it so much she had borrowed it from Barb’s mother to make a copy for my sister. Barb was bigger than my sister so mom had to resize it. She took it apart and traced each part onto brown paper then sewed the original costume back together. I helped mom with cutting out of the dress and apron from the cloth.

While mom was sewing the costume together, my sister was nowhere to be found. Mom asked me to strip down to my undershirt and boxer shorts. I become a dress form. I was slightly larger than my sister so if it fit me, it would fit her. It took mom three whole days to complete the replica costume. I felt that since I helped make it, it should have been mine. Mom stored the completed costume in a box on the top shelf of her bedroom closet. It was out of my reach. I couldn’t open the box to admire what I had helped make.

When the next Halloween arrived, I was there when mother got the costume box down. I was so excited as mom open the box. I knew it was hopeless but still I hoped that mom would magically change her mind and I would get to wear it. It seemed so unfair. I am sure mother saw the disappointment in my eyes when she gave it to my sister. She looked at me and said, “It’s a girl’s costume. Boy’s don’t wear girl’s costumes.” I ran to my room and cried. I don’t remember what I went out as that Halloween but I felt cheated. Mom had fitted the dress to me when she resized it. It was rightfully mine.

After Halloween, I saw mom store the costume box on a much lower shelf in the linen closet. Now I could easily reach it. Mom and dad both worked weekdays. We did have not a car so once they left for work, they would not return home until after the end of the workday. Those times when I was sick and had to stay home from school all alone were wonderful days. I waited for everyone to leave than I retrieved that rightfully mine treasure. I had lots of time to try it on including wearing appropriate underwear. I admired myself in the mirror in my parent’s bedroom. The only sad thing was that I couldn’t go outside and let other people admire the girl part of me.

Before the next Halloween we moved. Unfortunately, the costume got lost in the move. I mourned its loss. I did feel somewhat comforted in that I had gotten to experience wearing my witch’s Halloween costume, just not for Halloween.